i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
