Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
