Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
