Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
