I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
