I don't think brook has ever known best
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
