I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
how does that bad decision feel?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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