I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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