I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
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