I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
