his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
