i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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