So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
