How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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