guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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