That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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