do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
