I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
