Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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