I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
