why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
