somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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