we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
