do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
