I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
