Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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