I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
