SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
