if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
