girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
