Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I don't deserve a penis
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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