I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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