The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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