she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
