Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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