you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
