"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We just shotgunned beers for America
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
