Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
