butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
