Dual....:-)
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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