PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
