we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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