...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
