when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
