In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Randomize
