yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Your penis caused this!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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