i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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