She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
