Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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