Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
